Anyone who knows me, knows that I am, and always have been a huge hockey fan. I’ve been so antsy over the start of the season that I’ve been looking up other hockey leagues in the world. One thing that I think that the NHL is lacking, is the originality in their team names. I’ve found a gem when it comes to some of the most hilarious team names I’ve ever come across. I am of course talking about the German hockey league or rather the DEUTSCHE EISHOCKEY LIGA! Sorry. For some reason I always think that German things should be yelled by this guy. Anyways, the DEL has by far THE best team names anywhere. Let’s take a look at a couple.
Augsburger Panther : Yes. Singular. One panther. It’s like they are saying “Yes, alone ve are just simple hockey players, but togezah ve are ze symbol of fear, und ferrrociousness. VE AH ZE PANTHER!”
Hamburg Freezers : Confused about this one? Let me help. Hockey is played on ice. Where else is ice found? In the freezer. See? Simple logic.
Iserlohn Roosters- I know what you’re thinking, roosters are not the most intimidating animals. You clearly have not seen a cockfight. Those things are rowdy as shit. Do not mess with a rooster, they will peck out your jugular (if you are of course, another rooster.) I just hope that this isn’t the mentality of the team.
Straubing Tigers and Thomas Sabo Ice Tigers - No. There isn’t a city named Thomas Sabo. Nobody lives in Thomas Sabo. How creepy would that be? The team is based in Nuremburg. Thomas Sabo is the name of a Jeweler who is the team’s main financier and someone who clearly has narcissistic problems. Enough so at least, that he renamed the entire hockey team after himself and has a group of grown men wearing his name on their chests. What’s weird about these two teams is that the Tigers already existed for 40 years before the Ice Tigers came along. I don’t know what’s worse, this or the whole Saskatchewan Rough riders and Ottawa Rough Riders debacle.
Grizzly Adams Wolfsburg - Oh Wolfsburg, you win. This hockey club named their team after the main character of the TV show The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams, which is about a mountain man who has a strange connection to mother nature and whose best friend is a bear named Ben. Grizzly is on the lam for being wrongfully accused of murder. Need any more explanation as to why this is the best team name ever? Didn’t think so.
