I’m sick. Blech. I took some dimetapp to get rid of this runny nose and since I don’t read instructions I probably took too much. How do I know this? I feel high. I do high people things. Like cover my ears when I flushed the toilet. Or ask random questions to my sister out of the blue like “which one is neil sadaka again? Is he the Asian one? Who’s the Asian one?” Damn you delicious grape medecine. They really shouldn’t make it so good tasting. As a kid I used to love taking medicine because it tastes like candy. That’s dangerous for stupid kids who actually think it is candy, and die from a ‘tussin overdose. Buckley’s knows what they’re doing. That shit is gross. It tastes like mint urine. And really, who would drink anything minty.
I was watching the news and they’ve recently discovered in Canada that swine flu can be found in the tissue of pigs that have the disease. As a result, countries like China and the u.s are halting imports of pork products from Canada because we were the ones that made this discovery. Now, canadian government officials have staged a demonstration where they eat pulled pork sandwiches to show their trust in the pork industry and to show there is nohing wrong with our pork. Really though, I think they were just looking for a reason to eat pulled pork sandwiches. They did the same thing with steak when mad cow was the big thing, and they’ll do it again with horse meat sandwiches when horse malaria rears its ugly head.
